Husband hired private detective, hacked into my PC, copied text messages and then produced these pieces of evidence in Court.

DIGG this

Should emails, personal web history on your own private laptop, text messages and phone conversations, be private even to your partner, or should it be ‘public domain’ for your spouse to look at his/her leisure – then use against you in court?

[See the following link for advice on protecting your privacy: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=00010001000800010001]

Clearly, one should be careful about storing such important and sensitive information in the first place. This was not a family PC, this was my laptop that was always password protected, and set-up to log out after 5 mins of being idle. Anyone getting access would either have to know my password or know how to hack into my computer.

He also quoted various text messages that I had sent people and kept copies of them to produce to the Court. All my email correspondence was likewise copied to the court, as were my private letters and cards.

This kind of controlling behaviour is recognised by the Government, the police and domestic violence organisations as a form of domestic abuse, yet he was allowed to produce the things that he found out about me through his invasion of my privacy as evidence in court.

What I find equally disturbing is that this was accepted, in the Court by the judge and the barristers, as being normal behaviour for a husband to produce this kind of evidence. This was not recent activity on his behalf either as he had information that he could only have found months prior to the hearing, leading me to believe he was doing this on a frequent basis and over a time frame that would indicate he was doing this well before he issued legal proceedings. Indeed, even whilst we were still married and prior to any separation, I recall him being furious when he picked up my phone to check my messages (without my permission) and he found that I had password-protected my phone. He insisted that I tell him my PIN and, when I refused, he tried all kinds of tactics to persuade me that I was being unreasonable in agreeing to the invasion of my privacy. He insisted on opening most of my private post too and even cut up credit cards sent to me and threw away letters of mine before I had even read them.

Mind you, I should have known really, given that I had discovered that he used a private detective to follow my movements too as well as asking the nanny to report to him where I had been, what time I’d left the house and when I returned, what I had been doing etc etc. He even asked a relative to come and stay at our house for a number of weeks so that she could keep a diary of my movements, my housework, my activities with the kids, my arguments with him, anything I said etc, etc. I know this because I found her notes………..

Oppressive behavior? Compulsive Obsessive? Or just a competent litigator who does this for a living and is an ex-barrister himself?

He also phoned all my and family members friends in turn, pleading with them for information on where I was, how I was doing, asking for information on things I had said and done. He then quoted some of the things that they had said, taking their comments out of context and trying to prove that even my friends and family disapproved of me and my “behaviour”. I subsequently showed some of his witness statements to these people to check with them about whether they had, in fact, said the various things that he had alleged they had. Apart from two comments from my closest friends, the other statements were untrue and had been fabricated, yet they were believed.

Either way, the Court found all of this acceptable behaviour on his part. I simply don’t understand why this kind of hearsay evidence is allowed with no burden of proof on my husband’s part. It seems that a person is allowed to obtain ”evidence” at any price and with extreme invasions of privacy without condemnation. The fact that hearsay evidence is then given the kind of weight that his evidence was given defies the usual rules of evidence and yet is permitted and highly damaging.

Now I know this, I would advise anyone to lock their phone, be extra vigilant about their computer and coach your friends and family into not saying anything to the accuser, destroy all former letters and re-direct any post to a friend or family or a PO Box.

For further advice on how to ensure that you minimise the risk of this kind of invasion of privacy, see the following website from the Women’s National Domestic Violence organisation Womens Aid:   http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=00010001000800010001

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