Maintenance in divorce where one parent has Bipolar - should they be working?

Well, 3 years after divorce proceedings started, and I am finally at an end of all the divorce proceedings, Children’s Act proceedings and now Ancillary Relief (ie how the money gets sorted out) proceedings. The Court hearing about how our assets should be divided and about maintenance finished last week.

Thank God. It has been the most traumatic experience - nobody should have to be put through hours and hours of cross examination by a highly hostile barrister, especially those of us who suffer from Bipolar or other anxiety/depression symptoms. I had to be prescribed valium just to get through the hearing….

The main issue of course was whether my ex husband should have to pay me maintenance or not because I could go out to work and be self sufficient. [Remember that this is the same husband who took the children away because he said that I was "incapable" of looking after them]. His argument in the finance proceedings however, was that I could return to work as a full time City lawyer - or at least a full time lawyer in a large town. He argued that I was capable of holding down a highly stressful job pointing out that I had got through Law school and Sandhurst and was working as a City lawyer whilst having Bipolar and therefore I was capable to doing highly skilled and highly paid work…….

Ah, I see. So if his argument is followed, I’m capable of:

1. getting up very early every morning to go to work (or to get the children up)

2. Commuting in traffic to the same destination and back again (or to take the children to and from school)

3. Working in a team of people (or to get on with the other parents, nanny help, or other domestic help, or children’s friends/parents etc)

4. Working to tight deadlines, with some very difficult and demanding clients (believe me, clients can be far more demanding than children)                                                      (or to get homework done, make outfits for “wear a special hat day”, “school Roman Toga assembly”, deal with toddler tantrums, sort out sibling fights, prioritise tasks)

5. Juggling many different tasks within tight timescales (do I get that extra bit of maths done before I cook tea, or do I get the shopping before I make it to my son’s diabetes appointment, or do I make the beds before going to school so that they’re done or after I’ve done the laundry etc, etc)

6. Concentrating and focusing throughout the day. (homework, getting the bills paid, organising the kids trips, writing out the birthday party invitations etc)

Now pinch me if I’m dreaming, but if I’m capable of doing all those things, aren’t I capable of looking after my children?

OR, if I’m not capable of looking after my children, how am I capable of performing all those tasks listed above?

Am I ill enough to “perform/function” on a daily basis in a routine way to a sufficiently high standard or not?

If I am, then surely I can look after my children. If I’m not, then surely my ex husband has to accept the fact that I’m not able to work in a high powered job and therefore he needs to pay maintenance under the relevant legislation (ie Matrimonial Causes Act s25).

What do you all think?