Comments for KidsNeedMums http://kidsneedmums.co.uk A Bipolar Mum Fights for her Children in a High Court Custody Battle Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:54:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 Comment on Bipolar employee dismissed for gross misconduct for having a breakdown – awarded compensation by Employment Tribunal by corin http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2009/01/12/bipolar-employee-dismissed-for-gross-misconduct-for-having-a-breakdown-awarded-compensation-by-employment-tribunal/comment-page-1/#comment-1311 corin Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:54:00 +0000 http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/?p=208#comment-1311 just to add to above, when I said "an obviously weak case" that was the CLS gloss purely because it failed the prelim stage with a very weak judgement that accepyed such arguments by the employer as that it had lost the disabilty questionnaire - despite evidence of its receipt by recorded delivery being on the file. just to add to above, when I said “an obviously weak case” that was the CLS gloss purely because it failed the prelim stage with a very weak judgement that accepyed such arguments by the employer as that it had lost the disabilty questionnaire – despite evidence of its receipt by recorded delivery being on the file.

]]> Comment on Bipolar employee dismissed for gross misconduct for having a breakdown – awarded compensation by Employment Tribunal by corin http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2009/01/12/bipolar-employee-dismissed-for-gross-misconduct-for-having-a-breakdown-awarded-compensation-by-employment-tribunal/comment-page-1/#comment-1310 corin Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:48:59 +0000 http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/?p=208#comment-1310 Does show there are some successful lawsuits but what paltry compensation for the hurt and career damage. Unfortunately I didn't even get that far. Applying for a job at a much lower level (I had been a city lawyer before an episode of illness) I didn't even get a response. Tried to sue (I'm not a litigator but tribunal made no allowances). Firm did not even reply to disabilty questionnaire which is supposed to provide info for aggrieved party in recognition of how difficult it is to get behind potential employers' excuses and (frankly) lies. Eventually got CLS aid and info which clearly showed lots of less qualified candidates interviewed. Unable to attend prelim hearing due to illness and tribunal threw it out. CLS unwilling to appeal an obviously weak case. I used to believe in the legal system - no longer. Being frank about one's "disability", I found the other side and the court and its officials - far from taking it into account as they should - used every trick in the book to delay, hamper, embarrass - in the hope of ending the case. Subsequently I applied for a caseworker job at the ombudsman )again well below my qualifications). Again I was upfront about previous periods of illness. First they said they had lost the application. Then they found it but said I did not qualify for the "guaranteed" interview because I did not seem to meet the basic requirements of dealing with complex problems and customer service - this with a CV containing three uni degrees, law school distinction, qualified as lawyer for 10 years, working in CITY. It wd be a joke if it were not so insulting. This time I was advised by family and friends not to bother with the legal system. The so-called anti-discrimination laws are equally a joke in bad taste. Does show there are some successful lawsuits but what paltry compensation for the hurt and career damage. Unfortunately I didn’t even get that far. Applying for a job at a much lower level (I had been a city lawyer before an episode of illness) I didn’t even get a response. Tried to sue (I’m not a litigator but tribunal made no allowances). Firm did not even reply to disabilty questionnaire which is supposed to provide info for aggrieved party in recognition of how difficult it is to get behind potential employers’ excuses and (frankly) lies. Eventually got CLS aid and info which clearly showed lots of less qualified candidates interviewed. Unable to attend prelim hearing due to illness and tribunal threw it out. CLS unwilling to appeal an obviously weak case. I used to believe in the legal system – no longer. Being frank about one’s “disability”, I found the other side and the court and its officials – far from taking it into account as they should – used every trick in the book to delay, hamper, embarrass – in the hope of ending the case. Subsequently I applied for a caseworker job at the ombudsman )again well below my qualifications). Again I was upfront about previous periods of illness. First they said they had lost the application. Then they found it but said I did not qualify for the “guaranteed” interview because I did not seem to meet the basic requirements of dealing with complex problems and customer service – this with a CV containing three uni degrees, law school distinction, qualified as lawyer for 10 years, working in CITY. It wd be a joke if it were not so insulting. This time I was advised by family and friends not to bother with the legal system. The so-called anti-discrimination laws are equally a joke in bad taste.

]]> Comment on Bipolar People suck (apparently) ! by Chelsea http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/04/30/youre-ill-get-help-and-quit-ruining-the-life-of-people-around-you-dont-be-lazy-and-cruel-bipolar-sucks/comment-page-1/#comment-1308 Chelsea Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:55:40 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=81#comment-1308 I assume that the person who made that comment has been hurt by someone who has BPD. I have it and have had it all my life. it is funny how people forget to remember that everyone is different and that is why some people who have BPD may very well be selfish, cruel or cheaters. Everyone is different, it is very ignorant to assume that all people with BPD are exactly the same. I have always suffered from careing more for others than myself but that is my personality and has absolutly nothing to do with my BPD! neither does my spelling lol But people with iggnorance such as this should be ignored, iggnorance has been what has plauged our world for so long and it is ingraved in every inch of our bloody past. So do not take notice to this and be the great person you are bipolar or not. I assume that the person who made that comment has been hurt by someone who has BPD. I have it and have had it all my life. it is funny how people forget to remember that everyone is different and that is why some people who have BPD may very well be selfish, cruel or cheaters. Everyone is different, it is very ignorant to assume that all people with BPD are exactly the same. I have always suffered from careing more for others than myself but that is my personality and has absolutly nothing to do with my BPD! neither does my spelling lol But people with iggnorance such as this should be ignored, iggnorance has been what has plauged our world for so long and it is ingraved in every inch of our bloody past. So do not take notice to this and be the great person you are bipolar or not.

]]> Comment on Bad parenting stories – are these people suffering with Bipolar? by nickry http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/08/01/bad-parenting-stories-are-these-people-suffering-with-bipolar/comment-page-1/#comment-1298 nickry Sat, 16 Jan 2010 11:02:24 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=97#comment-1298 I am in a crap situation at the moment i have fallenn prey to the soicla services so much so that my daughter is now living 300 miloes away in devon and if i get her back then social services will get an care order. She is in devon with my sister and the want to have parantal rights over her. She is 10 and i have brought her up on my own for all that time social services now feel i am unfit due to a depressive episode which i found coping duifficult i went to them for help and they analysed every bad thing i had done in my life then had a case coference with people i had never net and decided i was unfit to care for my child. I am in a crap situation at the moment i have fallenn prey to the soicla services so much so that my daughter is now living 300 miloes away in devon and if i get her back then social services will get an care order. She is in devon with my sister and the want to have parantal rights over her. She is 10 and i have brought her up on my own for all that time social services now feel i am unfit due to a depressive episode which i found coping duifficult i went to them for help and they analysed every bad thing i had done in my life then had a case coference with people i had never net and decided i was unfit to care for my child.

]]> Comment on Bipolar People suck (apparently) ! by They are around me http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/04/30/youre-ill-get-help-and-quit-ruining-the-life-of-people-around-you-dont-be-lazy-and-cruel-bipolar-sucks/comment-page-1/#comment-1296 They are around me Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:29:09 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=81#comment-1296 I have a best friend who has Bipolar II. He does alright and I am impressed at how much he is constantly aware of others. He does not try to be a burden and is actually one of the most understanding people I know. Strangely enough, I also have a Bipolar brother (recently diagnosed) that seems to be the exact opposite of my friend. I find it amazing what a fucking needy burden my brother is and that he has no ability to see outside himself. His mouth breathing simple ways are not do to to his Bipolar II Disorder, but rather he is dumb do to his own volition. I praise my Bipolar friend. I am burdened by my Bipolar brother. In the end, Bipolar does not always mean that someone will be selfish and an all around problem- what matters is the person's personality. As for my brother, he would still be a needy idiot with or without the Bipolar II Disorder. I have a best friend who has Bipolar II. He does alright and I am impressed at how much he is constantly aware of others. He does not try to be a burden and is actually one of the most understanding people I know. Strangely enough, I also have a Bipolar brother (recently diagnosed) that seems to be the exact opposite of my friend. I find it amazing what a fucking needy burden my brother is and that he has no ability to see outside himself. His mouth breathing simple ways are not do to to his Bipolar II Disorder, but rather he is dumb do to his own volition.

I praise my Bipolar friend.
I am burdened by my Bipolar brother.

In the end, Bipolar does not always mean that someone will be selfish and an all around problem- what matters is the person’s personality. As for my brother, he would still be a needy idiot with or without the Bipolar II Disorder.

]]> Comment on Bipolar People suck (apparently) ! by Keesha http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/04/30/youre-ill-get-help-and-quit-ruining-the-life-of-people-around-you-dont-be-lazy-and-cruel-bipolar-sucks/comment-page-1/#comment-1293 Keesha Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:04:18 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=81#comment-1293 I can't believe people actually think some of what I am reading. I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar type two. Before that my life was a lulled roller coaster of constant misdiagnosis. It is hard to find someone who understands a relief in diagnosis. I find the few people outside of a doctors office i have talked to about it dont believe in mental conditions, think exercise can cure all, or act like its a crutch. I was afraid to tell people of anything because of the thoughts like some of those that post here. I was scared Id lose my job, my family, scared people would judge me, scared no one would love a crazy person. I still am. As for the discussion of abuse, I was abused. I dont enjoy telling people publicly. I couldnt see how anyone who has been could. There is an appropriate time, in pride that I overcame it, support or honesty but everyone feels different on this matter. I think if anyone admited abuse, it would take faith and confidence to do so. I would strongly consider this. There may be an association between the disease being hereditary and this topic. Bipolar people are cruel? I know no one is perfect. No matter their physical state or condition. Honestly, I can be. Everyone can be to those they love most, those they think will be there when the storm subsides. Its easier to be mean than it is to be nice, but at least I try. At least I dont relish in being mean like its trendy and cool. I have to try to be happy. I was depressed as a child and I will, probably for life, have to try to feel happiness that everyone around me so easily can. I have a constant dissatisfaction within my life and personal relationships. That could seem cruel I guess. I have a good heart, I am a great and loving mother. I run circles around some moms I know who aren't diagnosed with a thing. My children reflect that. Being bipolar is not an excuse for me. Ive battled depression my whole life, even when I experienced physical symptoms in early childhood. Sometimes I kick its ass. Sometimes I need help. There is no easy way. It sucks to have it. To have to work so hard, while others relax and enjoy the ride. But at least I seek help. At least I put in an effort to be healthy. At least I have tried to get a diagnosis, a solution. So, I think lumping all people within a stereotype and slapping on a negative label is ignorant. Its as ignorant as sexism, and racism. Especially when its a biologically proven chemical imbalance apparent with a simple lab test. Its not made up for attention. It is not a personality trait. If someone was so ignorant as to say things like some of these thoughts on how I must be, judging without even knowing me, that to my face, yeah I'd be cruel. So would a lot of other veterans I know diseased or not. I can’t believe people actually think some of what I am reading.
I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar type two. Before that my life was a lulled roller coaster of constant misdiagnosis. It is hard to find someone who understands a relief in diagnosis. I find the few people outside of a doctors office i have talked to about it dont believe in mental conditions, think exercise can cure all, or act like its a crutch.
I was afraid to tell people of anything because of the thoughts like some of those that post here.
I was scared Id lose my job, my family, scared people would judge me, scared no one would love a crazy person. I still am.
As for the discussion of abuse, I was abused. I dont enjoy telling people publicly. I couldnt see how anyone who has been could. There is an appropriate time, in pride that I overcame it, support or honesty but everyone feels different on this matter. I think if anyone admited abuse, it would take faith and confidence to do so. I would strongly consider this. There may be an association between the disease being hereditary and this topic.
Bipolar people are cruel? I know no one is perfect. No matter their physical state or condition.
Honestly, I can be. Everyone can be to those they love most, those they think will be there when the storm subsides. Its easier to be mean than it is to be nice, but at least I try. At least I dont relish in being mean like its trendy and cool. I have to try to be happy. I was depressed as a child and I will, probably for life, have to try to feel happiness that everyone around me so easily can. I have a constant dissatisfaction within my life and personal relationships. That could seem cruel I guess. I have a good heart, I am a great and loving mother. I run circles around some moms I know who aren’t diagnosed with a thing. My children reflect that.
Being bipolar is not an excuse for me.
Ive battled depression my whole life, even when I experienced physical symptoms in early childhood.
Sometimes I kick its ass.
Sometimes I need help.
There is no easy way. It sucks to have it. To have to work so hard, while others relax and enjoy the ride.
But at least I seek help. At least I put in an effort to be healthy. At least I have tried to get a diagnosis, a solution.
So, I think lumping all people within a stereotype and slapping on a negative label is ignorant. Its as ignorant as sexism, and racism.
Especially when its a biologically proven chemical imbalance apparent with a simple lab test. Its not made up for attention. It is not a personality trait.
If someone was so ignorant as to say things like some of these thoughts on how I must be, judging without even knowing me, that to my face, yeah I’d be cruel. So would a lot of other veterans I know diseased or not.

]]> Comment on A Bipolar Mother talks about her experience with losing her children, the Courts & Mental Health Discrimination by Betty http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2007/03/15/mother_talks/comment-page-2/#comment-1291 Betty Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:34:16 +0000 http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2007/03/09/mother_talks/#comment-1291 My prayers are with you. I hear your plight, I understand your hurdles and wish there was a rational solution to the underlying problems which prevail in this country. My prayers are with you. I hear your plight, I understand your hurdles and wish there was a rational solution to the underlying problems which prevail in this country.

]]> Comment on Bipolar People suck (apparently) ! by Tom http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/04/30/youre-ill-get-help-and-quit-ruining-the-life-of-people-around-you-dont-be-lazy-and-cruel-bipolar-sucks/comment-page-1/#comment-1290 Tom Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:20:16 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=81#comment-1290 No, you're cruel. All bipolar people are cruel. You don't know the reality of the people around you. No, you’re cruel. All bipolar people are cruel. You don’t know the reality of the people around you.

]]> Comment on If I were a ghost, I could spend more time with my children – yet another nightmare dream by If I Were A Ghost, I Could Spend More Time With My Children « "I will not SHUT UP or give up and I WON'T go away!!" http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/09/15/if-i-were-a-ghost-i-could-spend-more-time-with-my-children-yet-another-nightmare-dream/comment-page-1/#comment-1289 If I Were A Ghost, I Could Spend More Time With My Children « "I will not SHUT UP or give up and I WON'T go away!!" Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:56:03 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=123#comment-1289 [...] To read the entire post, visit Kids Need Mums. [...] [...] To read the entire post, visit Kids Need Mums. [...]

]]> Comment on If I were a ghost, I could spend more time with my children – yet another nightmare dream by If I Were A Ghost, I Could Spend More Time With My Children « Silent No More! http://kidsneedmums.co.uk/2008/09/15/if-i-were-a-ghost-i-could-spend-more-time-with-my-children-yet-another-nightmare-dream/comment-page-1/#comment-1288 If I Were A Ghost, I Could Spend More Time With My Children « Silent No More! Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:55:35 +0000 http://bipolarised.wordpress.com/?p=123#comment-1288 [...] To read the entire post, visit Kids Need Mums. [...] [...] To read the entire post, visit Kids Need Mums. [...]

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